So often, we allow our thoughts and actions to be dictated by what others think. We are the generation of social media; of carefully tailoring what we do and do not put on Facebook or Instagram. If you’re anything like me, that Instagram caption takes some thinking time before it’s posted; Is it funny? Is it cool? Is it grammatically correct? Maybe you’re not as shallow as I am regarding Instagram captions but chances are you’ve still gotten caught up caring what others think about you. Maybe it’s not online; maybe you care about what other people will think about the clothes you wear or the model of phone you have. How pretty or handsome they think you are. And let’s dig deeper: getting back grades from college professors, being promoted to the ‘A’ Team in sports, getting a standing ovation for a musical performance. Our talents can very easily become idols. Even when we have the best intentions, we can still put our focus on the wrong thing. I was meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time a couple of months ago and I was terrified. For a week beforehand I was obsessed with what they would think of me. It wasn’t until we were about ten minutes away from meeting them that a post popped up in my newsfeed: “You are a daughter of the King of Heaven.”
Identities
See, that’s the thing: other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter because they are not the ones who get to define you. As a Christian, your identity (how you are defined) is found in your status as a child of God.
So, I am a girl, a geologist, a ballerina, a foreigner, a student, somebody’s sister, somebody’s daughter. But none of these labels matter in light of my true identity, the only label I want to wear: I am a loved child of God, Maker of Heaven and Earth who loved me so much that two thousand years ago, before anyone on Earth had the slightest inkling of my existence, He sent His Son to die on a cross for my sins.
I am a child of God. That is my identity. That is the label I wear. Every other label that someone puts on me is meaningless in comparison. Their opinion of me, whether they hold me in high esteem or think me about equal to the scum on their shoes; it doesn’t matter.
At the end of the day, we live in a world filled with sinners and sin. If we try to derive our identities from things or people of this world, we will get hurt. We will be seeking validation and substance from things that cannot give that to us. God is the One who created us and has planned every detail for our lives. Surely then, there is no better place to find our identity than from Him?
In Romans 8:17, Paul writes that we are “co-heirs with Christ.” What a privilege! It’s so easy sometimes to lose sight of that amazing fact – that we are co-heirs with Christ, children of God. I find it such a relief whenever I get bogged down by the inane and frankly unimportant niggly things of this world – I am God’s child. That is the most important thing. That is the most important part of my identity.
Talents
I touched on the idea of talents becoming idols a bit earlier. This is an interesting concept – one of those classic ‘get the balance right’ lessons. So we know that God has given us all talents and that He intends for us to use them to His glory (check out the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30). But we also know that we are to have no idols before God. It took me a while to realise how easily idols are actually made. When I was younger I almost skipped past that commandment, assuming that since I didn’t pray to any golden calves I wasn’t in any danger of breaking it. Of course, our idols can be a lot more subtle than that.
And what is more subtle than dedicating yourself to that sport you play so well, working hard and trying your best the way the Bible tells you to? If this is a talent that God has bestowed upon you do you not then have the responsibility to use it? Well yes…and no. See, there’s a difference between glorifying God with your talents and becoming so caught up in your talents that you make them your new idol.
For me, this manifests in academics. I often have to remind myself that God’s plans are a lot larger and a whole lot better than my own. So I might plan on diligently pursuing a first-class honours degree but if that’s not what God has planned then I need to accept that He knows best. Sure, He has blessed me with some academic ability and I should not waste that gift but I don’t think it’s right for me to get so hung up about grades and exams that they replace Him.
All these talents are gifts from God.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)
God is the One who has decided to bless some of us with athletic prowess, others with a mind for numbers, for someone else it is languages, another hospitality, another kindness, another gentleness. Let us not forget who it is we are serving.
Golden Stars and Grey Dots
If you haven’t heard it already I would strongly recommend you read ‘You Are Special’ by Max Lucado. In a quick summary: this is a story about wooden puppets called Wemmicks who are carved by the woodcarver Eli. The puppets stick stickers on each other; golden stars for those they liked or grey dots for those with less desirable traits. One day, Punchinello, a Wemmick covered in grey dots for his clumsiness, meets another Wemmick called Lucia. Lucia has no gold stars and no grey dots. She is void of any stickers, void of wearing the labels of any other Wemmicks. When Punchinello asks her how this is, she explains that she knows Eli, the woodcarver, who tells her she is special just as she is.
This is a beautiful children’s story but I feel it’s one that resonates with us all. When we know God we are no longer defined by the labels other people stick on us, whether they are good or bad. Those stickers fall off us, they cannot get a foothold because we know that in the eyes of the One who truly matters, our God and Father, we are already loved, exactly as we are.
To conclude
So, after all that rambling do you see what I’m getting at? It’s all just a big circle, looping back to God over and over again. You are already loved by the One who loves you more than anybody else could ever dream of loving you. That’s why all these earthly thing (people’s opinions included) don’t matter; only God matters. Love Him, love His people and love yourself. Love, love, love.
God made you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He knows the plans He has for you. He created you for a reason, and He has a purpose for your life.
No matter what anybody else thinks you can rest in this truth: He loves us.
Remember: as much as this applies to you it also applies to others. Judging others and labelling them is a sin I fall into very easily and something I am trying really hard to improve. I have no right to judge others. I can only try to love them with the same love that God has for me.
